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The follies and follicles of Vee Levene
"My goal is to dominate people in their sleep."
On the (mis)attribution of idiosyncracies 
3/11/06
People seem really eager to dismiss my idiosyncratic behaviors- specifically, those that differ drastically from their own behaviors- as merely symptoms or "excuses" for underlying neuroses and character defects.

Many of these encounters are disguised as general concern and a desire to understand, so they are difficult to point out on a one-on-one basis. The ones that are brazenly obvious, the not-so-disguised, cause me to look back and see the parallels to other, more insidious (and often not conscious) misguided misattributions.

It might come from a need to categorize (well, dichotomize) behaviors as either good or bad, normal or abnormal, active or reactive. It might come from the inability to see any hint of an existence outside the norm (their own) as anything other than wrong in some way- even if the behavior itself isn't "wrong", it's the deviation from socialization that's seen as "wrong", and so the underlying cause must be "wrong". It might be the inability to understand complexities within people other than oneself, particularly if those complexities challenge one's idea of the finiteness of complexity.

It might actually come from the desire to understand, and when faced with not being able to understand, one negates as a way to maintain sanity and self-concept. (My personal favorite: "Everyone else I know who does this..." as though similar[ly-appearing] behaviors necessarily stem from similar sources.)

Whatever the reason, it's really fucking getting on my nerves. Just stop it, all right? It's perfectly natural to have such thoughts, but if you're willing to validate them to yourself when forming your concept of me, at least have the decency to express humility and encourage dialogue by using "I" statements, rather than just telling me about myself as though you had some sort of authority. I'll try to watch myself, too. Social psychology-for-laypeople is all well and good, but if you don't have any concept of the fundamental attribution error, then it might behoove you to acknowledge and embrace your ignorance.
Comments 
3/11/06 (UTC)
Hi, apologies for the OT comment, but you don't have a redirect or a visible e-mail, so this is the only way to reach you.

I'm one of the mods of debunkingwhite; can you pls e-mail me about your pending membership request? sparkle.shortz at gmail dot com will do it.
thanks much!
S_S
3/12/06 (UTC)
Non LJer
Yeah, just what we were saying!!

Note: The last paragraph has a distinctly different style...on purpose??

~yermum
3/12/06 (UTC)
yea. i've been exploring the idea of disintegration, in everything that i do/say/write/am. that's a tactic jill and i as the pathological upstagers have been using a lot. i'm finding it quite effective in conveying chaos without completely alienating people.

plus i was just pissed about it; the other paragraphs were a facade.
3/15/06 (UTC) - CAKE!
You'll have to excuse my brain before reading this paragraph, it isn't in working mode at the moment:

That sounds annoying...er...I'm not sure exactly what you're talking about though, it's so abstract. It seems that you're referring to some specifics that you don't really want to mention. Reading it gave me an idea, however, for the truthexperiment--weird things like that happen, and we want to try to bring them out into the open so that people realize the ridiculousness (ridiculosity?) of what they're doing. Like those passive-aggressive things that people do because they expect you to realize that you've broken one of their imaginary rules that they think are universal, and you should feel very guilty! But of course they won't come right out and TELL you. Also, people making up theories about why you are a certain way don't bother to ask you first, do they.

OK that didn't make much sense.
3/17/06 (UTC) - Re: CAKE!
yea, you're right, i didn't want to make specific references in case "certain people" were reading. :)

sorry that whole truthexperiment project didn't take off like we thought it would- things got really nuts here. (senior project! &c.)

i like that idea. the problem i have is, if i call people out on it while it's happening, i tend to just be really aggravated and defensive and then i can't communicate well anyway.

but one idea could be to take note of people's stupid ideas about you, then totally contradict them the next day.
3/17/06 (UTC) - Re: CAKE!
oh yes and- cake?
10/7/07 (UTC) - jhqbtqmyws
Non LJer
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